- October 2017
Pembroke Players' Smoker is back! It's been a long summer and we are so ready to unleash some of the funniest comedians on the circuit on our audience.
Whether you're a nervous fresher or an embittered finalist, get yourselves down to the cellars for the first Smoker of the year!
- August 2017
“Why do you drink so much?” / “The fags aren’t killing me fast enough”
Sat together by chance, four unnamed strangers unearth their darkest moments. In this post-truth world, Kane’s brutal and unadulterated tragedy is defiantly honest. One of Sarah Kane’s final works, CRAVE returns to the festival where it premiered in 1998. Brought to you by a creative team previously described as “visionary” and behind many “must-see” productions in Cambridge (Varsity; TCS), this retelling of Sarah Kane’s masterpiece is unmissable.
“I’m looking for a time and place free of things that crawl, fly or sting”
- August 2017
Two women decide to write a play about their interracial queer relationship. ‘Funny’, ‘honest’ and ‘explosively entertaining’ this piece of new writing is an exploration of race, gender, sexuality, family and what it means to love someone who doesn't look like you.
Combining comedy, with hard hitting social commentary, SCENE is a heartfelt, engaging, and at times laugh-out-loud hilarious portrayal of two women in love rarely seen on stage.
“the writing is honest and raw” ★★★★ — Varsity
“the best, most purposeful exploration of queer characters that I’ve ever seen” — FLY
- August 2017
It’s the opportunity every comedian dreams of. Double act Will Hall and Leo Reich have been given an hour to record their very own TV pilot. Except, they’ve been given Studio 9, the smallest studio known to man. It doesn’t help that the tech keeps malfunctioning, the producer’s getting worried and the show barely resembles the script. But they have a lot of sketches to get in the can, and only sixty minutes to do so. Well, fifty nine...
Studio 9 is a brand new, fast-paced sketch show from a pair of Cambridge Footlights Smoker Regulars that promises to be a slick hour of uproarious comedy.
- June 2017
It’s the opportunity every comedian pines for. Double act Will Hall and Leo Reich have been given an hour to record their very own TV pilot. Except, they’ve been given Studio 9, the smallest studio known to man.
It doesn’t help that Leo is drunk. Or that Will is in love with the runner. Or that the tech keeps malfunctioning. But they have a lot of sketches to get in the can, and only sixty minutes to do so. Well, fifty nine...
Studio 9 is a brand new, fast-paced sketch show from a pair of Cambridge Footlights Smoker Regulars that promises to be a slick hour of uproarious comedy.
This is your one chance to catch the show before it heads up to the Edinburgh Fringe this Summer
- June 2017
Our final smoker of the year is here! Join us for an evening packed with comedy including both sketches and stand-up from experienced veterans and fresh new talent alike.
Wine served from 8.15 with the show starting at 8.30.
- May 2017
After two years of legal troubles involving his [REDACTED], family entertainer Stuart Brown is back on your screens with a brand new show that certainly promises to be “a format” (The Guardian) with “guests” (The Observer) and “attempts at comedy” (The Telegraph). This special pilot episode, featuring hilarious segments such as “Who In The Audience Will Date Me?”, “Brown Noise” and fan favourite ‘“Where Did I Put The Thimble?” will be an unforgettable return to form for one of the nation's most persistent broadcasters!
From the comic mind who brought you Dropouts!, Black Tie Smoker, Crow, Quinoa: A Middle-Class Sketch Show, 7 Steps to Becoming a Student Druglord and numerous Footlights Smokers, SBVH:LIC promises to be a tragicomic tour-de-force through the damaged psyche of a repressed man, and a showcase of Cambridge's finest character comedians!
Previous praise;
"Like the weird uncle at a family Christmas, Wright united and energised the audience as a whole – only occasionally traumatising individuals”- The Tab
“Elliott’s acting performance was outstanding throughout and although the nudity was a comic highlight of the show, the rest too was of equal caliber”- Varsity
"dimwitted self-parody"- The Tab
- May 2017
A one-night entente cordiale of stand-up, featuring past, present and future Footlights Ruby and Raph. (Music and lyrics by Cardinal Wolsey).
Previous praise:
‘An intelligent and uproariously funny illustration of everything Cantabrigian comedy can and ought to be’ – TCS, 9/10
'Keane proved herself to be Queen of the call-back' – The Tab, ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
‘This ex-Footlights team will be very hot property in years to come’ – EdFringeReview, ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
‘Yeah Raph's alright I suppose’ – Ruby
- March 2017
Seventeen years ago, the Picksford Amateur Photography Society held its final ever meeting, and went their separate ways. However, at the funeral of former treasurer Dorothy, the remaining four members are reunited, and take a trip down memory lane as they look through their old sketc- photos. Photos. It's photos. That's the premise.
Join Footlights regulars Will Hall, Laura Cameron, Rufus McAlister and Leo Reich for a fast-paced night of sketch comedy in which every picture tells a story.
“Punch after punch of genuinely funny gags” – Varsity
“Phenomenally funny” – The Bubble
“Inexperienced or amateur it was not” – CTR
- March 2017
For the third year in a row, Pembroke Players Comedy presents The Lady Smoker, our annual showcase of the funniest women and non-binary people on the student comedy scene!
- March 2017
Seventeen years ago, the Picksford Amateur Photography Society held its final ever meeting, and went their separate ways. However, at the funeral of former treasurer Dorothy, the remaining four members are reunited, and take a trip down memory lane as they look through their old sketc- photos. Photos. It's photos. That's the premise.
Join Footlights regulars Will Hall, Laura Cameron, Rufus McAlister and Leo Reich for a fast-paced night of sketch comedy in which every picture tells a story.
“Punch after punch of genuinely funny gags” – Varsity
“Phenomenally funny” – The Bubble
“Inexperienced or amateur it was not” – CTR
- March 2017
Howard Barker’s ’13 Objects’ is a modern play, published in 2006. It is a series of vignettes, each centred around a different object such as a pair of shoes, a camera or a spade. The play ‘reveals the investment we make in inanimate things, their power to unsettle us, and how their talismanic qualities license new ways of seeing the world’.
- February 2017
It's that time of year again! Prepare for the return of the swankiest, most sophisticated smoker of the year: The Black Tie Smoker. Sit back with your complimentary glass of wine and laugh your socks off* as eight of Cambridge's finest comedy acts duke it out for a £50 cash prize, and more importantly, mad respect.
As the name suggests, dress code is strictly black tie please. The smoker has been known to sell out since the beginning of time (or at least since records began), so get those tickets quick!
*please don't remove your socks, this is a swanky event.
- February 2017
Biff, a mean private eye with a quick wit and a slow Southern drawl, is back in her hometown Bogalusa after a break from the detective game. But now it looks like ol' Columbos gonna have to dust off her magnifying glass. Her philandering ex-lover Jake ain't changed one bit, and now her sister Sally's gone missing.
But the mysteries don’t end at home. Both local reverends are acting pretty sketchy, and Brenda the businesswoman seems willing to do anything to get cigarette sales back up, even if that means hiring weedy marketing consultant Trevor.
In Bogalusa corruption, like smoke, rises straight to the top and comedy, like smoke, is everywhere and sin, like smoke, is probably a bad thing.
Adjust your suspenders while you still can: noir is about to get seriously silly.
- February 2017
An hour of no-frills sketch comedy just as nature intended.
Since flexible patterns of thought provoked by jokes and certain types of laughter are proven to boost productivity, the University permits students to take a short break from fact-learning and essay-writing for an hour of compulsory mirth. Fun is obligatory. Attendance is mandatory.
The gimmick is that there is no gimmick.
Laugh, why don’t you.
- February 2017
Dirty Hands is an existential play that tells the story of Hugo, fresh from prison, who visits his former boss, Monica, a Labour party deputy. In an attempt to prevent Hugo from being ‘eliminated’ by party members angered by his indiscretions, she must decide whether he is récupérable for the cause before midnight. This ultimatum frames the play, while the story is told in flashback. Hugo is a young intellectual, keen to prove himself as an homme d’action. He accepts the challenge of assassinating Turnbull, a rising star on the right of the party, making it look like a suicide. As the play progresses, we see Hugo’s internal struggles and self-doubt emerge; if he abandons his task he will be killed, but if he murders Turnbull will he lose his integrity? Hugo’s girlfriend, Jessica, warns Turnbull who, ever the persuasive politician, convinces Hugo to join his cause instead. Hugo agrees, but when he returns to proclaim his excitement for the future, he walks in on Jessica embracing Turnbull and shoots him. With the killer’s identity established from the beginning, this political drama considers the “why”, not the “who." Crime of passion or political murder? The audience must decide.
- February 2017
Hot Cross Men smashed it right out of the improv park with their Edinburgh Fringe hit, What the Dickens. That’s a fact. Many thought that was the end of their story. Untrue. Colin Rothwell (Actor-in-Chief, 1st Computer Science), Haydn Jenkins (Footlights Enforcer, 2.i [predicted] Geological Sciences), and Ted Hill (Doctors Hate Him, 2.i Biological Anthropology) are back, and now even the bad guys are left quivering in their boots. These boisterous beasts have improv oozing from their every hole; and they’re offering you a taste of the action. Our three comedy renegades were birthed, kicking and screaming (no midwife needed), from the gentle womb of The Cambridge Impronauts, and they haven’t looked back since; not even when there was a big explosion.
I hope you’ve got your copy of ‘The Conventions of Comedy’ because Hot Cross Men will blast it to smithereens, then throw it in a chemical fire (no safety goggles used), where it belongs.
It’s fully improvised. They’re fully in charge. And you’ll be pleased to learn they won’t be held back by anything: not by scripts, not by directors, and certainly not by the pesky establishment. The boys are trying out some new formats, popularised in Chicago, America. That’s right. America. They’re red hot, Red Cross, red men redemption. Hot Cross Men.
PREVIOUS PRAISE:
'Truly Marvellous' - EdFringeReview, 4 stars.
'Ridiculous and hilarious' - The Tab, 4.5 stars.
'An impressive display' - Varsity, 4.5 stars.
'It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but hot cross men' - Charles Darwin (Ordinary Degree, 1831)
- February 2017
Cathy has one ambition: to be the first person to fly solo from Scunthorpe to Paris. Unfortunately, her world-weary father just wants her to stay at home under his watchful eye and new hybrid Perspex ceiling whilst he tries to recreate his brief croissant-inspired love affair with the spirit of his dead wife in his specially made ghost garden. A fast-paced, absurd comedy show that takes you from the llama fields of Scunthorpe Aerodrome to the most left-wing corner of Scandinavia, Frank and Cynthia is a timeless love story that will have you weeping out of your ears.
- February 2017
- November 2016
George Orwell may have been one of the greatest authors of the twentieth century but 1984 had nothing on the travesty of 2016...
The heating in Pembroke has broken once again and two freshers who unwittingly signed up to row for the PCBC have been assigned the job of saving college from freezing over. They fight their way through the political instabilities of Cambridge to reach the gates of Pembroke only to find that the situation in college is in even more dire straits than they could have imagined. Will they be able to overcome the malice of Donald Trumpington and the Tab Editor in time to save the day?
Brace yourselves for an evening of Oliver award-worthy performances from the cream of Pembroke's fresher thesp talent
Bring some bevs and get ready to laugh your (Christmas) socks off!
- November 2016
“It wasn't Zeus, not in the least,
who made this proclamation—not to me.
Nor did that Justice, dwelling with the gods
beneath the earth, ordain such laws for men.”
Raging against the unfair treatment of her traitorous brother Polyneices’ corpse, Antigone defies the proclamations of the state forbidding any burial and gives Polyneices all the funeral rights appropriate for a man killed in military combat. When her despotic and newly-crowned uncle Creon discovers the betrayal, he sentences her to an agonising and irreligious execution, despite the protestations of his son Haemon and his political advisers.
Over the course of this fast-paced, ever-relevant Greek drama, we see the unyielding defiance of the individual will and the crushing tyranny of an authoritarian state come into conflict, resulting in (needless to say) tragic consequences.
- November 2016
An hour of musical stand-up from sketch-show regular Ruari Bride, and the Footlights team that brought you "Trump'd", "Full Frontal Prudity", "23, Please!" and countless smokers!
Join us in the Pembroke Cellars as Ruari performs variety of comedy songs on every aspect of Cambridge life, with favourites such as "The Consent Song" and "Stash" alongside brand new material.
From the pensive to the silly to the downright bizarre, Downbeat's multi-instrumental comedy makes it unlike anything else you'll see this year!
Previous Praise:
"Bride's consent song is a hilarious and relevant composition!" - Cambridge Theatre Review
"A showcase of Cambridge's late night wit and sharpness" - Varsity
- November 2016
1980s Alexandria, the television flickers on: ‘‘Nay, but this dotage of our general’s overflows the measure. Those his goodly eyes, that over the flies and musters of war have glowed like plated Mars, now bend, now turn […] his captain’s heart […] is become the bellows and the fan to cool a gypsy’s lust”
Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra is a love story born from political conflict: ambition, backstabbing and corruption. Witness the collision of two worlds: Rome, a modern, global superpower, and Cleopatra’s Egypt, a psychedelic landscape, a bower of bliss beyond the confines of Rome. Sparks fly. The drums of war begin to sound.
Fame and power converge on tabloid pages and television screens, changing romance to scandal. Personal identities are shaken along with public images. Both worlds begin to crumble, as egos are pitted against emotions.
This Michaelmas, see the ‘gaudy night’ of Shakespeare’s tragedy transposed onto the cultural landscape of the 1980s: radical politics, the ‘cult of personality’, music and excess.
“Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low…”
- November 2016
It's back! Hot on the heels of our smash-hit sell out Fresher's Week Smoker, The Sticky Floor Smoker returns after a year's absence and this time it's bigger, funnier, and probably stickier.
If anyone's confused...
sticky
/ˈstɪki/
adjective
1.
tending or designed to stick to things on contact.
floor
/flɔː/
noun
1.
the lower surface of a room, on which one may walk.
Sticky Floor Smoker
/'stɪki flɔː ˈsməʊkə/
noun.
1.
A bloody brilliant line-up including top Footlights veterans and the hottest new talent alike. Known to induce bowel-destroying levels of hilarity.
Get thee down to the cellars and see for yourselves!
"A truly fantastic night of comedy"- The Tab
- November 2016
Three people are being held in custody for crimes they allege they did not commit. Telling each other their stories, they work back and try to find out how they all got banged up. Are they really all innocent? Are they part of some bigger conspiracy? And where have all the bees gone? Come and find out in this clever and fast-paced narrative comedy, full of great laughs and crazy characters.
- November 2016
Tom Evans is a brilliant particle physicist and a middling sketch comedian. Determined to put on a sketch show, but lacking in ideas, he does what any sensible individual would: he builds a time machine to travel time and space for inspiration. Together with the help of his friends this is the show they create.
But isn’t time travel notoriously dangerous? What is really motivating Tom? And did he really get with Cleopatra? Come and find out!
- November 2016
Something terrible has happened. Rewind.
Shadowed under the gaze of the Brooklyn Bridge: Eddie Carbone, his wife Beatrice and their orphaned niece, Catherine. Catherine has lived her life under the shelter of her aunt and the watchful eye of her uncle. Even the proposition to accept a job is begrudgingly met. Meanwhile, Beatrice’s cousins, Marco and Rodolpho, have arrived from Italy having entered the country illegally.
As jealousy enters the ring, and the self destructive fragility of humanity is pushed to its limits, witness tragedy emerge from the ruins. A thrilling journey for all, absorb yourself in one of the most intense plays ever written.
- November 2016
“We’re not dorks. I think Herbert could quite comfortably be classified as a dweeb, however. And I’m more of a posh effete.”
After getting kicked out of Cambridge for spending too much time writing student comedy, best friends Piers and Herbert must learn to function in the real world. Join them as they embark on an outrageous and farcical romp outside of the Cambridge bubble!
Watch in amazement as they enrol at a university that isn’t even in the Russell Group, fall in love (not with each other), get on the wrong side of a crazed drug lord, join the wakeboarding society and drink beer for the first time. But things go awry when dark forces cause the pair to grow further apart; can their friendship survive the ultimate test? Will their old college tutor stop stalking them? And what on earth does the janitor know that they don't?
Dropouts! is a new fish-out-of-water comedy from the people who brought you Judge Judy’s Buzz World (Footlights Harry Porter Prize Winner 2016), Quinoa: A Middle-Class Sketch Show, Quinoa II: No Pain No Grain, The Country Wife, Tristram Shandy: Live At Scotland!, Comedy 4 Calais, Kenneth Watton's Bedtime Chat Show 3: The Benign Comedy, Crow, Tristram Shandy 2: A Sentimental Journey, Rubber, Tate Postmodern, Picasso Stole the Mona, the sold-out Fresher's Week Smoker and numerous other college and Footlights smokers.
Past praise for the team;
“quickly had the room in stitches” (Varsity) ★★★★ ½
"vastly enjoyable" (The Tab) ★★★★
"gems of sarcastic satire" (TCS)
"kept the audience engaged and with a laugh on their lips throughout" (Varsity)
Darkchat Edinburgh Fringe Awards 2016- Best Comedy Performance- NOMINATED
- October 2016
Joe Spence (‘horrifying’, The Tab) and Stanley Thomas (‘a member of an otherwise indistinguishable gang of rowdy boys’, Varsity) pour an hour of delicious, meaty, brown sketches down your grateful throats.
From disputes on the Sodom town council to an x-rated seance, this’ll one to make you go ‘yeah, it was better than expected, I guess’. Join Joe and Stan at Pembroke New Cellars as they try to figure out exactly how to get themselves out of this hot, gravy-ey mess.
- October 2016
Ah, fanfiction. Taking things we love and making them a bit rubbish ever since Steve really enjoyed Mabel’s cave painting of a mammoth and did one a bit like it but rubbish. In this upcoming extravaganza, Shaw, Stopher and Fenton take the combined sincerity and irreverence of fanfiction and apply it vaguely to the format of sketch comedy. Three comedians who have done the rounds and got the t-shirt (they share it between them) take to the Cellars for an hour of good fun, laughs, and dodgy prose. Drinks provided.
- October 2016
This October the Pembroke Players Japan Tour will return from Japan with the same Shakespeare play first toured ten years ago: Romeo and Juliet.
In the 400th anniversary year of Shakespeare’s death the ever-recognisable love story of Romeo and Juliet continues to find new resonance. This is a modern, energised restaging of the classic text.
Having performed in Tokyo, Okinawa, Ely, Cambridge and London – don’t miss the last few performances of this show with some of Cambridge’s most experienced actors.
- October 2016
Join a selection of the funniest student comedians on the circuit for the very first Smoker of the year! Whether you're a nervous fresher or an embittered finalist, get yourselves down to the cellars for what is sure to be an unforgettable night of mirth and revelry.
- August 2016
‘The universe is deterministic alright, just like Newton said, I mean it’s trying to be, but the only thing going wrong is people fancying people who aren’t supposed to be in that part of the plan.’
In the schoolroom of a country estate in the 1800s, Thomasina Coverley is discovering the truth about carnal embrace. In the same room about 200 years later, a group of academics are still trying to work it out. While thirteen-year-old Thomasina complains to her tutor about algebra and rice pudding, in the present day, Bernard Nightingale arrives at the house in his red Mazda, and both, in turn add more than a little disorder to the lessons learned at Sidley Park.
The story of the precocious Thomasina and her tutor begins with the style and flair of a Wildean farce, but quickly develops tension as the stakes rise. Cutting insults, love rivalries of Byronic standard, and poetry of a much lower one fly across the schoolroom table. Meanwhile, Bernard, a literature academic, has both ‘Romantic’ and romantic endeavours of his own. He believes he has found a note that suggests Byron was involved in a duel at Sidley Park, and which might explain his mysterious flight to the continent. With the begrudging help of fellow expert, Hannah, he attempts to piece together the evidence that would prove his theory correct.
A paperchase through time shows the audience that science and technology are all very well, but lust fuels the inevitable spiral into chaos.
- August 2016
Tristram Shandy's sizzling autobiography, 'The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman', has just hit the shelves and the author has announced a nation-wide tour: a theatrical extravaganza which captures the scandal, wit and wisdom of this instant classic.
Join us at C Nova for an evening like no other, and revel in the sex, the song, the dance, the love, the lies... Will Dalrymple's 'masterful' (The Tab) adaptation of Laurence Sterne's hilarious and groundbreaking novel takes you on a poignant and compelling tour through the life and opinions of Britain's finest Tristram.
- August 2016
Cavemen. Table football. Birds.
What do all of these things have in common? In a word – nothing. In two words – still nothing. But even so, in this sketch show, all of these seemingly unrelated things will be linked together, whether they like it or not.
Babushka heads up to the Edinburgh Fringe 2016 after a five-star, sell-out run in Cambridge.
- August 2016
In 2013 Yaseen was diagnosed with depression and left university. Then he wrote a comedy show about it. A stand-up show about depression, therapy, recovery, movies and New York City. 'Thought-provoking, exquisitely written and doesn't scrimp on big laughs' * (Varsity). 'Crisp, well-timed... hilarious and touching by turns' (Cambridge Student).
