- March 2016
Cavemen. Table football. Birds.
What do all of these things have in common? In a word – nothing. In two words – still nothing. But even so, in this sketch show, all of these seemingly unrelated things will be linked together, whether they like it or not.
The premise of each sketch will be contained inside the previous one, like one Russian doll inside another. With the added incentive of free wine, what better way to kick off the final week of term than coming along to see Babushka?
- March 2016
Tristram Shandy is BACK!
After his smash-hit book tour, spanning 256 years and ending in style at the ADC in October, things haven't been going so well for Britain's finest Tristram. Death is a-coming. But in true Shandean style, Tristram sticks two fingers up at the Reaper. The first is the newly-resurrected, hitherto dead and buried Parson Yorick. The second is one last theatrical outing, a dense, mad, galloping horse of a play that promises to sweep you off your feet and across the English channel.
Join Tristram and Parson Yorick for a swift, funny, sunny, rambling, dangerous, lusty, lovely, loveless, daring, scary and, above all, Sentimental Journey through France, Italy and Beyond!
- February–March 2016
No Dogs. No Children. Know your limits.
The Cricketer's Legs is a booming business full of eccentric characters and amusing goings on. And the owner bloody hates it. All he wants is to maintain a sense of English propriety in his pub. But one day, what can only be described as a whole sketch show's worth of nonsense will push him to the edge. This is that nonsense.
Come on in to The Cricketer's Legs, grab a complimentary drink and settle to watch the conveniently comical antics of the regulars.
The pub is fictional, the beer is real.
A new sketch show from the people brought you the Tab theatre award winning UKIP: The Musical, Murder on the Disorient Express, Laugh You Long Time, String Me Up, Tate Cambridge, More Revelations, Hyper-History, and numerous Footlights Smokers.
For reals though, there's a free beer with every ticket...
Previous Praise:
"Innovative and excellent with a glorious bizarreness" - CTR
"A showcase of Cambridge's late night wit and sharpness" - Varsity
- February 2016
After a record-breaking, sold-out international run in and around Pembroke New Cellars, the Tab Theatre Award-winning* team behind 'Quinoa: A Middle Class Sketch Show' are back with more sketches!
Having faced weeks of training on a strict diet of middle-class grains and middle-range banter, join these six comedians (as seen in Footlights, Corpus and various college smokers) as they try and whip you into shape (comedic shape, that is!). You’ll be laughing so much, that weight will just fall off!**
"Original, clever and witty, I’m sure this lot will go far"- The Tab
"had me laughing harder than I have at any other show this term"- Varsity
"Genuinely hilarious"- Cambridge Theatre Review
*BEST COMEDY 2015 for "Sitcom: A Sitcom"- The Tab
**No money-back guarantee, always check the label, do not pass go, do not collect 200, you may or may not lose weight depending on your diet and exercise regime, ‘Quinoa’ may not be suitable for those with a poor sense of humour or irritable bowels.
- February 2016
“Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of that first link on one memorable day.”
As Pip’s memories unfold, a world of hidden ties is revealed. The chains of unrequited love, of unforgotten hate and unanswered questions bind together Charles Dickens’ characters. In this retelling of the seminal novel, we follow Pip’s journey from a blacksmith’s workshop to the houses of the wealthy London elite. This vivid exploration of Pip’s consciousness, and the series of events which shaped it, captures all the emotion, mystery and drama of Dickens’ original tale.
“I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.”
- February 2016
Join Luisa Callander (1995 - ?) and Ruby Keane (? - 2016) for a night of surreal-ish comedy and real-ish laughter.
- February 2016
From the writers of hit sketch show Revelations ("The perfect show to celebrate the end of week five." 8/10 TCS) comes "More Revelations" a brand new hour of sketch comedy by people who are definitely better at writing innovative sketches than coming up with innovative titles!
- February 2016
"History nowadays is not a matter of conviction. It’s a performance. It’s entertainment. And if it isn’t, make it so."
Yorkshire, 1983. 8 unruly grammar-school pupils are competing with the best in the country for places at Cambridge and Oxford. They are helped (or perhaps hindered) in their efforts by two radically different teachers, one who is struggling to resist the eroticism of transmission of knowledge, and another who seems to think history is all a game. Meanwhile they struggle through the perils of adolescent love, sex, and the problem of how to cheat a system that's been around for hundreds of years.
"What is history? History is women following behind with a bucket."
- February 2016
The Professor is awaiting the arrival of a new pupil while the Professor's Maid/Manservant worries about hir health and warns them of a potentially perilous situation. While the lesson starts well, the pupil seemingly promising and bright, the Professor is incensed to discover that hir pupil cannot subtract. As the lesson progresses, the Professor becomes increasingly infuriated with what they consider the pupil's ignorance, while the pupil develops a toothache, becoming an all-around aching of the body.
The result is a hilariously dark comedy with tragic consequences, its musings as to totalitarianism in education (Something many can, I am sure, sympathise with) politics, psychology, and sexuality are as fresh and fascinating today as they ever were.
- November 2015
There will be a murder. There will be mystery. And an excellent, no-holds-barred sketch show.
From the creators of the blockbuster hits
‘BAD HABITS’
‘PICASSO STOLE THE MONA LISA’
‘TRISTRAM SHANDY: LIVE AT THE ADC!’
'Santa is a Scumbag'; 'Politics!'; 'Hamlet: The Sketch Show'; 'Failure - A Sketch Show with a Chip on its Shoulder'; 'The Coalition' and, of course, 'The Night of the Amorous Prawn'.
comes a brand new format. Murder Mystery AND Sketch Show.
Praise for previous shows:
'The future of Cambridge Comedy' - The Tab 1/2
'Hilarious, LOL, riotous romp' - Edinburgh Guide
'Impossible to flaw' - EdFringe Review ****
~ FIVE NIGHTS ONLY ~
~ COCKTAILS PROVIDED ~
~ BRING YOUR OWN NUN ~
21:30, Tue 24th - Sat 28th November
£6, Pembroke Players Membership Discount applies.
New Cellars, Pembroke College
BUY TICKETS NOW -http://pembrokeplayers.tessera.info/event_33
- November 2015
This 1926 adaptation of Ferenc Molnar's 'The Play at the Castle' proves that when it comes to high comedy and classic escapism, P.G. Wodehouse sets the standard by which all other writers one day hope to achieve. A play written towards the beginning of his career, it is full of the charming wit that fills his dialogue and the plot twists that he was to become the master of. Not only that, it also contains some clever progressive elements, not typically present in Wodehouse's work, which serves to break the 4th wall without actually doing it. Cryptic, I know, but you'll see what I mean.
It is mid-20's Italy. A castle, overlooking the Mediterranean. A pair of successful playwrights, Turai and Mansky, and their protege composer, Adam, arrive at the castle early to surprise their leading actress and Adam's fiancee, Ilona, when an event occurs which puts that engagement at risk. Will the day be saved? Will the marriage happen? Will Turai ever remember Dwornitscheck's name? Will Mansky recover enough to eat some breakfast? Will I ever stop asking questions in an attempt to make this description live up to how good the play is? Will Almady stop being such a pompous chap and swallow his pride? Will I answer any of these questions? I will answer one - the last one - yes. For the rest you shall have to come to the Pembroke New Cellars in week 7. See you there, chums!
- November 2015
Are jokes from two thousand years ago still funny today? There's only one way to find out! Come join us as Cambridge's best comedy venue plays host to Roman humour and modern skits from our Classicist jokers.
Tickets are £5 on the door, or free if pre-ordered online by members of Cambridge University Classics Society. Not a member? Just sign up on our website classicssoc.co.uk (and yep, registration is free as well).
- November 2015
'Don't we want everyone to be political?'
'Yes, but we don't want everyone to be politicians. That wouldn't work.'
Six students, one garden shed, and a world that needs changing. Jared, Mel, Phoebe, Jones have decided to form a political party as a response to the dire situation they consider the world is in. Duncan wasn't expecting the party he was invited to to involve so much voting and so little dancing.
Witty, funny, and insightful- The comedy by Tom Basden deals with what happens when narrow minds try to crack wide issues- everything from China, to Muslims, and when they should break for cake.
- November 2015
Life can be full of surprises. You may unexpectedly find love. Someone you trust may betray you. And sometimes the world just literally ends.
Revelations is a new sketch show exploring humanity’s struggle to maintain order in the face of an uncaring and callous universe. And also, irate monkeys. Come along for Star Wars, classical music, CamSIS and the Apocalypse. No, really. That actually happens halfway through the show.
- October 2015
From the TAB THEATRE AWARD WINNING creators of SITCOM: A SITCOM...
One fateful night, while tucked up in their comically oversized bed which they all share for some reason, Elliott, Patrick, Evie, Stefan and Seth were visited by the ghost of Stephen Fry. This unearthly apparition of one of the country's most beloved middle-class entertainers gave them but one single instruction; to create the greatest sketch show of all time. This is what happened.
From up-and-coming comedy people Elliott Wright, Patrick Wilson, Evie Butcher, Stefan Bencik, Seth Kruger and Michael Tigchelaar (as collectively seen in Sitcom: A Sitcom, Footlights Smoker, Sticky Floor Smoker, Golden Gods Smoker, UKIP: THE MUSICAL, Stuart Brown's Guide to Cambridge, Christ's Holy Smoker, Laughing Fitz, POLITICS!, Picasso Stole the Mona Lisa: Fringe Edition, Tate Postmodern, The Coalition) comes just what the Cambridge theatre scene is crying out for: another sketch show! Join them as they flail about on stage for about an hour, sometimes doing silly voices, in an effort to make you laugh via that desperately unexploited format: sketch comedy! Sit back and enjoy as these four brave men, one brave woman and one eunuch (try and guess the eunuch for a free ticket!) revolutionise the Cambridge comedy scene forever.
Past praise for these idiots:
"Original, clever and witty, I’m sure this lot will go far"- The Tab
"Genuinely hilarious"- Cambridge Theatre Review
Elliott Wright: "a younger version of Stephen Fry"- edinburghguide.com
Patrick Wilson: "a fitting balance between the disgusting, the funny, and the sincere"- The Tab
Stefan Bencik: "brilliantly mad"- Cambridge Theatre Review
Evie Butcher: "the highlight of the production"- Varsity
Seth Kruger: "always entertaining"- Cambridge Theatre Review
Michael Tigchelaar: "bit of a twat"- Tig's mum
- October 2015
“There's nothing proper about what you do
But at least try to kill me properly”
43BC. Julius Caesar is dead and the future of Rome is waiting to be claimed. For Cicero, exiled to his country estate, it is a chance to restore the system of politics under which he flourished. For Mark Antony, it is a chance for absolute power - and revenge. As alliances form, Cicero is condemned and the man of letters must decide whether to flee to safety or stay to meet his fate.
Written in blank verse in the style of a Greek tragedy, Pro Patria Mori charts the reversal of Cicero's fortunes. Once the most powerful man in Rome, he is now a wanted man who must decide what is more important: his principles or his life?
- October 2015
After 24 packed out shows in Edinburgh, Bafflesmash is back where it belongs: underground.
Come for an hour of gag-riddled, irreverent silliness, as Jamie, Rob and Tom guide you through the world of Bafflesmash. You could call it a multidimensional odyssey which breaks the boundaries of time and space, or you could just call it a sketch show.
Previous praise:
‘A glorious mix of surreal, intelligent and simply hilarious sketches’ * (Tab.co.uk)
‘Had the audience simultaneously scratching their heads and roaring with laughter’ ½ (Varsity)
‘I cannot recommend the show highly enough’ 10/10 (TCS.cam.ac.uk).
- June 2015
EdFringeReview and the Pembroke Players are teaming up to bring you a showcase of some of the best shows heading to the fringe this summer
- June 2015
Once in a lifetime, there comes a tale so beautiful, so profound, that it redefines a genre and shapes a generation.
This is that tale.
SNAKES ON A PLANE. The Musical.
(no, really).
Praise for Quite Nice Theatre's original production:
Fringe Guru: "sure to have you laughing hard"
Broadway Baby: "it's engaging, addictive and a must see"
***** Musical Talk: "comically excellent, musically fun, totally excellent"
- May 2015
"Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain" - Charlie Chaplin
Get your post-election selves down to the New Cellars for a great evening of comedy.
- March 2015
Come see the recording of the pilot for Sitcom, the new sitcom featuring four young and attractive twenty-somethings as hilarity and romance ensue in their modestly furnished apartment.
Starring...
STUART BROWN as Colin, an uptight snob
FRANKIE BENNY as Dougie, a disgusting slob
MARGOT BEAUFORT DE'BEVER as Alison, a woman
and IVAN IVANOVICH as Dimitri, their wacky Russian lodger
Will Colin get the big promotion at work? Will Alison get her man? And will the network commission a full series? Come along and find out!
- March 2015
"We have made continual sacrifices, involving unheard of suffering, I assure you; and we could endure them only by living as we are living now. Unfortunately, it must look very strange to people, seem even scandalous, arouse no end of gossip!"
There's a newcomer in town, and the gossips are crying for truth. But is there such a thing? And if there were, would you really want to know? This new translation by David Tremain combines Pirandello's much-loved tragi-comic farce (rarely performed outside of Italy), 'It Is So If You Think So', with the harrowing sketch 'The Man With a Flower in His Mouth'.
"Because, you understand, if I were to only spend an idle minute inside by myself… why, I could beat the life out of someone, someone I didn’t know, take up a revolver and murder some poor unfortunate stranger, like yourself perhaps, someone who had missed his train"
- February 2015
Starting on Shrove Tuesday, Bafflesmash are back in the cellar.
Rambunctiousness is guaranteed from these Footlights Smoker regulars. Expect a show riddled with gags. Sketches will abound. Essentially, it's a multi-dimensional odyssey.
From three of the various minds behind: 'Anthony: A Sketch Show' ( - The Tab), 'Beauty Spots' ( - The Tab) and 'Bafflesmash presents: Menagerie (10/10 - TCS) comes a whole new sketch show.
That is all.
- February 2015
An exercise in uncomfortable conversations, Talking Out Loud throws us into the worlds of four individual – yet interconnected – people, as they navigate life in modern Britain. Told through monologues, this show tackles some of the most important issues of our time: identity, race, love, gender, and how to get away with not doing your science homework.
Sometimes funny, sometimes thought provoking, and always honest, Talking Out Loud presents the importance of saying what’s on your mind.
- January 2015
Ever thought the comedy scene was lacking in women? Think again! To mark the 30 year anniversary of women at Pembroke, The Pembroke Players are hosting an exclusively female smoker for one night only, in the renowned comedy venue The New Cellars.
- November 2014
In February 1599, Shakespeare sat down in a grotty Thames-side inn. “Hmm,” he thought to himself. “Should I write a sketch show, or the greatest tragedy of all time?”.
He choose the latter.
This is what would have happened if he hadn’t.
- November 2014
Jess loves David. Jess loves credit. Believing happiness can be bought in a world of easy finance and materialism, possessions become irresistible. But at what cost? Their love and money are killing their relationship, their future, and them. We trace back to the past to find out what went wrong, from the happiest bride in the world smiling in happiness by the just-received marriage proposal to the distraught husband feeding Smirnoff to his wife. Funny yet heart wrenching, Kelly’s dark comedy portrays a dislocated view of the world we live in, the risks we face, and the lengths we go to in search of happiness.
- November 2014
Oh yes, it's that time of year again. The stickiest floor of them all is back.
A glowing roster of Cambridge's funniest acts will, once again, make you laugh so much your feet stick to the floor. Laughter. It's what binds us together.
Reviews of last year:
"Excellent. Loved the floor." - Tab
"Help me. I'm still stuck." - TCS
"I haven't laughed so much in years." - Gadaffi
- November 2014
Pembroke Freshers' Play 2014
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.”
The assassination of Julius Caesar has brought chaos to the Roman Empire. Persuaded by scheming politicians and his brother-in-law Cassius, Brutus has helped murder Caesar for the good of Rome, for freedom. But freedom does not come. Brutus and Cassius are called to arms: Mark Antony and Octavius are out to avenge Caesar’s death, and civil war rages across the land. Guilt-haunted, Brutus, “the noblest Roman of them all”, marches on the enemy.
Human error and ambition clash in Shakespeare’s visceral play. With only one week’s rehearsal, this production captures the raw, fiery, and impulsive nature of the text. Succinctly adapted and performed by Pembroke freshers, the staging brings youth and vigor to Shakespeare’s classic tragedy of patriotism, power, and betrayal in Ancient Rome.
- November 2014
Lane's plans for the Yale game are interrupted over lunch by the inconvenience of his girlfriend Franny Glass's spiritual breakdown. A few weeks later, at the Glass family's apartment, Zooey Glass tries to straighten things out with his sister, with the help of their dead and living brothers, a 19th Century pilgrim, and Christ himself.
After Seymour is a bittersweet look at the Glasses, a family plagued with questions about art, education, death, and religion, striving towards a very real, very human kind of Enlightenment.
- October–November 2014
Bafflesmash will see regular Footlights Smoker-ers creating laughter through the means of an hour long sketch show. There will be Dolphins and reggae.
- October–November 2014
'Know that I am a king – O, at that name, I feel a hell of grief. Where is my crown? Gone, gone. And do I remain alive?'
The King of England is in love, and the nobles are none too happy about it. The last and arguably most mature of Christopher Marlowe's works, Edward II deals with the brutal struggles and betrayals leading to the downfall of one of England's most notorious kings. Taking full advantage of Pembroke's New Cellars, this production aims to use innovative staging to evoke the full intensity and high stakes of Marlowe's tragedy.
- September 2014
For the eighth consecutive year the Cambridge University Japan Tour will be visiting Tokyo and Yokohama to perform a Shakespeare play and give educational workshops in schools, theatres and universities.
With generous sponsorship from Seikei University, the Tour this year is excited to present "The Merchant of Venice".
- June 2014
Just as May Week is quieting down, in Pembroke's New Cellars a brigade of sketch comedy talent will hot the night back up again, with Pembroke Players' new sketch night - THE NIGHT OF THE AMOROUS PRAWN.
Be there. It'll be amazing.
- May 2014
The most golden, godliest smoker of all - come to Pembroke's New Cellars for an intimate audience with Cambridge's finest comic talent. I've heard it's going to be good. And it's a hell of a lot funnier than revision.
- March 2014
White. Orange. Pink. Brown. Blue. Blonde. Six perfect strangers, assembled to pull off the perfect crime – a diamond heist where nothing can go wrong. Then simple robbery explodes into bloody ambush, and the ruthless killers realise that one of them must be a police informer. But which one?
Critically acclaimed for its raw power and breathtaking ferocity, the brilliant American gangster movie classic from writer-director Quentin Tarantino is brought to the Cambridge stage for the first time.
"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"
